my weapons of mass destruction

a little while ago there were some students on campus that were robbed by some dudes who are working on the construction site here building the new cafeteria. after this happened the school leaders told all the students to be careful when walking back to their dorms at night. if you know anything about chinese students, this means don't go outside at night for some of them. many of them were pretty scared to walk around at night. after the big robbery some of my students, who regularly come to my house every week, called me to inform me that they could no longer come to our house. i told them to not worry and that i would walk them home so they could keep coming. so the first night that i walked them home they told me i should bring a weapon, "something sharp" was their exact words. i told them "no worries", i have my own weapons that i bring everywhere. they said, "oh really, what?", i quickly pulled my fists out, put up my best rocky pose, and said, "these weapons". they were not amused, with a straight face they said, "no really mr. wu, you need something sharp." i was very disappointed that they didn't think i could take on a bunch of construction guys, i proceeded informed them that i was also a really fast runner (they seemed to think that was going to be my best way to avoid harm). so for the last 3 weeks, i've been walking these girls home and every time i get home i have to "text message" one of them to tell them that i got home okay, or else they will be worried. funny girls.